Here we go:
This morning I observed a black male making fun of a hispanic male, "hey man, where's yo'green card? they gonna send you back, betta getcha green card man. " To which he responded, "hey a*****e, where your bail bonds? you gotta go back without your bail bonds."
This exchange made me wonder: what was my "get out of jail free" card? ("really, that's all it made you wonder?") I am a young female born into midwest whiteurbia suburbia. My bail bond/ green card is my parents. Yes, I have been born into a society that has allowed me to remain in, succeed within, and get out of trouble as long as I have the (financial) help from my parents. As I continued to walk through downtown my mind delved further into this topic... until I saw a man eating a delicious slice of pizza and noted that somewhere on Main between 4th and 5th one can get pizza by the slice and I should look into it.
Up next: Dating in the midwest.
Over the last few days I've decided that I feel cheated or lied to during junior high/ high school when I was taught about love and relationships. Unless I made this up, I feel certain that church youth group taught me that if I consistently prayed, went to the right college, chose the right hobbies, and read the right books I'd meet a wonderful man whom I'd fall in love with and live happily ever after. So I prayed, attended three different colleges, met a boy who lied a lot, and fell jaded ever after. Wah wah. I'm over it now but I inevitably wonder why? My Christmas birthday friend has a relationship story that mostly aligns with what we were taught and I am so happy her, but I do wonder what she'll teach her kids? Will she sustain the 'meet your soul mate and be happy' thought or will she teach the 'this is what happened to aunt whitney' lesson?
I am twenty- four and I am single. I had no idea that the "are you still single?" "are you a lesbian?" "geez, you must have baggage" comments surfaced already. Sleeping around is easy, anyone can do that. If anyone can do that I'd like 'challenge for $1000', please... didn't you read that I roller bladed and jump roped just to see if I could?
rant rant rant
I was thinking about all this today (not distracted by pizza) and I heard these lyrics:
"And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears."- Mumford & Sons
My thoughts were quieted. I do believe the Bible to be truth. God never promised one awesome, sustaining, fulfilling relationship; he never promised that we'd get ourselves into something that wouldn't break our hearts. He did promise that his love wouldn't break hearts(1 john 4:18)... and nothing more. thanks Jesus, for not being a heart breaker. Guys and girls alike appreciate it.
now about that pizza...
now about that pizza...
I will teach my kids that being in a relationship is a choice you make. I don't believe that I married my soul mate, and I think that's the problem with the fairy tale. I think that some days I am so mad that the socks are on the floor AGAIN and I wonder "is this what I have to look forward to the rest of my life?" and then I sigh and pick them up, because I know I have thousands of these traits that he must think of daily as well, but we still choose to love each other despite these conflicts. The myth of the soul mate teaches that if you meet The One, everything will align, but in reality we make a daily choice - you choose to love.
ReplyDelete(since you asked ;-))
-The Christmas Friend
I believe that there is a lot of pressure to find "the one" these days. Being 28, and living with someone and being exclusive, still puts me into the category of "you're still single?"... There is only so much that we can each do to find the one. I truly believe that it comes when we stop searching and live our lives to the fullest. We all must go through certain relationships and heartbreaks in order to find our soul mate(s). But it is through those struggles that we find THE ONE. Too much pressure is put on settling down and being with someone. It needs to be done on each person's own terms.
ReplyDeleteAnd after all that has been done, you will create a legacy of yourself as Whitney Gordon - fearless, captivating, eccentric, carefree, dependable woman....and THAT is what anyone (including myself) would be lucky to pass along to their children.
And to sum up this ranting comment with my favorite quote from SATC of all times
“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”
(my motto to live by)
-"mary-kate"